piss

<p>In early 2019, some months after completing a rehab program for drug addiction, I was in a very open-minded headspace where I wanted to challenge myself and find ways to improve as a person.</p> <p>Drugs had filled my life with secrecy and lies, but that life was over. Although I was unsure of my next steps, I was so tired of the secrecy that I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather change about myself.</p> <p>So, roughly 6 months into the SerenityOS project, I started making YouTube videos to document my progress. At the time, I was still working on the project alone, and I thought video could be an engaging format.</p> <p>The first videos were simple programming sessions, filled with clumsiness and mumbling. I made lots of mistakes and mumbled even more while fixing them. Over time, I improved, and also starting making monthly SerenityOS update videos – a tradition which is still going today.</p> <p>Eventually, I began recording myself driving to work, and that’s when I truly opened up. In these car videos, I discussed programming, job experiences, motivation, operating systems, and many other topics. As I grew more comfortable, I eventually shared my history with drug addiction and how it inspired the name “SerenityOS” as well. People were incredibly supportive, and for the first time since childhood I felt accepted for who I really was.</p> <h2 id="where-i-am-today">Where I am today</h2> <p>Just two weeks ago, I posted my 1000th video to YouTube. That’s a <em>lot</em> of videos. With more than 39,600 subscribers, I’ve been able to share my work, thoughts and knowledge with more people than I ever imagined.</p> <p>Moreover, I’ve attracted hundreds of people to collaborate on SerenityOS with me, many of whom are still active contributors today. This experience has brought me immense joy.</p> <p>At this point, I feel like I’ve accomplished my goal of becoming comfortable on camera and learned to embrace authenticity, leaving the secrecy and lies behind.</p> <p>Now, I’m ready to face a new challenge and feel uncomfortable once again!</p> <h2 id="writing-a-new-frontier">Writing: a new frontier</h2> <p>Writing has always intimidated me. While I can manage short bursts (like Tweets), I’ve rarely practiced writing anything more substantial. This is something I’m <em>incredibly</em> uncomfortable with, and I feel like it’s time to confront it.</p> <p>So, here’s what I’m going to do: I’ll be taking a break from making my usual “unprepared” videos (i.e everything other than SerenityOS update videos), and focus instead on writing. I will write posts like this one, but also technical posts, book reviews, etc.</p> <p>As I write this, a mix of fear and excitement fills my heart. I feel intimidated and out of my element, and this tells me I’m on the right track.</p> <p>With this, I aim to become significantly better at writing. I also hope to become better at thinking. I tend to think in English, so it seems logical that improving my command of English will improve my ability to think as well.</p> <p>To follow along on my new journey, stay tuned for regular blog updates and post announcements on my <a href="https://twitter.com/awesomekling">Twitter</a>.</p> <p>It’s going to be bumpy at first, but I’ll do my best to improve quickly.</p> <p>Thank you for reading! I hope to see you here again.</p>